Nostalgia, and photos that become our family history
My childhood was entirely ‘analogue’. Over the the last couple of weeks I’ve been scanning old family photos that I’ve inherited from my Grandma so that I can share them with my brother back in the UK.
We live in a digital world now. Sharing has got a whole lot easier. I love that. But I also don’t.
Are we connected on Facebook and Instagram? You may have noticed I’ve been taking a little online hiatus. Reflecting over my shared photos of late, I see only a half-truth. Where is the messy?
Truth is, I’m less inspired to take photos when I’m exhausted or hit with the blues, let alone share them.
This is my messy.
** Trigger Warning: I write about mothers, loss and grief **
What you haven’t seen is my exhaustion from sleepless nights, caring for my young family, running a business, moving house, renovation work, life on call as a birth professional.. and more poignant of late, mothering without a mother. Did I really write that? I did. *breathe* That’s a big one.
The 20th anniversary of my Mum’s death has been at the forefront of my mind. Not so much what happened, but rather all my memories and the things I feel I’m missing out on as the mother of her grandchildren. I miss her every day; her laughter, her smile, her wisdom, the mother-daughter relationship we might have had, what she would have been like as a grandmother.
I find myself very nostalgic. A recent visit to stay with my brother’s family had me poring over our family photo albums. Living in a different country and with infrequent visits ‘home’ meant I hadn’t seen them in years.
Looking through album after album, photo by photo, it was like I was searching for answers to unasked questions.
Now as a mother myself, it is surreal to see photos of my Mum and Dad as parents of young children. They were who we are right now. I see our family photos in a totally different light to before. It’s also strange to see photos of my Mum when she was the same age that I am now. Soon she would be gone, from one minute to the next, gone. Incomprehensible.
It’s astonishing that 20 years have gone by.
I still believe, more than ever, that there is no bond stronger than that of a mother and child.
I’m immensely grateful to have so many family photos to look back on. I continue to document our days, our home as it changes over the years, time spent with family – and friends who become like family, holidays and the places we love to frequent. I do this so that my children, and their children, will have their own family history to look back on and remember. I do this for my clients too. I will resume sharing online soon. Promise.
In the meantime, here’s a few of the photos I’ve been scanning this week:
With much love,
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